Yeah, I am still alive...sort of...I think? Pulse. Breathing. I guess that is alive.
This week drained me - I am physically and mentally exhausted. I put in forty work hours between Tuesday morning and yesterday evening. I also worked a full nine hour day Monday and I worked a regular eight hour day today. I am on track to start averaging sixty hour work weeks. That doesn't include the housework that needs doing. Where am I going to find the time?
I have created a spreadsheet to track my work hours - broken down into travel, daily work, and hours spent beyond normal work hours in my hotel room (or at home) during the process of a review. I am going to document exactly why it is we are all so burned out...and I don't even have to travel out of my timezone like the poor west coast folks do when they come out this way. They end up losing an entire day to just travel.
I am discovering that this is a truly terrible time for me to be gone for Marly too. Her manners are pretty atrocious right now - mostly in the jumping on people and pulling at her leash department. Some of it comes from not enough real outdoor running and playing while I am gone during the week and the rest from lack of energy or time to work on any formal training. I did, however, get both dogs out for a good, long walk today and tomorrow I am going to work up a training schedule for both dogs. They are now both sleeping, which I am sure means they will be up again right about the time I am ready for bed. *laugh*
Tomorrow I also have to work on a DIY schedule since I absolutely have to get the painting projects done before my mom and sister come to visit at the end of February. I haven't touched them since my mom was here last year - how embarrassing to have the house be in the same semi-finished state a full year later! The problem again, though, is time. With my upcoming schedule I only have a few short weekends left to do all this. It IS doable if I get to it.
Hmmmm...I don't really have much else to say. I am currently reading His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass is the first of the three books for those who don't know what I am talking about). Fabulously written - I highly recommend it for anyone who likes this sort of young adult, fantasy, adventure (or however you might classify it). I am currently about a third of the way through the second book...I found a great paperback volume containing all three books printed together as the full story. Once I am done with that I am going to reread the Chronicles of Narnia - I found a similar all-in-one paperback volume that has the books printed in the order that C.S. Lewis had intended them to be - not the order you traditionally see them. I loved these books when I was younger and with Prince Caspian being the next movie to come out, I want to reread the story again before I see it.
In geek news, I have been playing Lord of the Rings Online...yes, I am super nerd. It is fun, somewhat mindless, and...well, fun. I need some fun these days. Once the weather gets a tad warmer I will go work on the yard to be outside - but not until the highs get back up out of the 30's and 40's. We are expecting snow again tomorrow. Crazy.
Technology makes me nuts. Sometime last week while I was gone the Apple TV went on the fritz. So, Neil took the box to his house to see if it was the Apple TV box no longer sending the signal properly or if it was the HDMI cable that had gone bad (though there is no apparent reason why it would have). The Apple TV worked fine at his house...it worked fine here when we used the analog cables (I think that is what you call them? it was the set the cable box was using)...so over the weekend I ordered a new HDMI cable.
It came today.
The Apple TV still doesn't work today.
*sigh*
The TV seems to recognize when I plug the HDMI into one of the input slots (there are 4) on the back of the TV because it will automatically flip to the right input, but then it says "No Signal". I am so frustrated I could tear my hair out. I was just getting ready to cancel my cable TV since I rarely watch it and it was costing me an arm and a leg...but rarely is still using it sometimes and yes I am that lame - I will not go completely without some sort of visual entertainment when I am at home in the evenings. So, here I am...great movies I want to watch on my Apple TV box and no way to watch them.
Bah!
I fly out first thing in the morning for our team meeting in Tempe...it is the first time we will all be face-to-face in over 18 months, so it will be good to see almost everyone. However, it also marks the beginning of my having to travel every week.
*sigh*
My budget can't handle the amount of dog boarding/daycare that is coming. My heart can't handle being away from my kids and my guy. And my head can't handle the stress of dealing with both major issues (on top of all the tedious work to take place on these trips). Yes, I realize that I am psyching myself out before it even begins...but I know what it was like when we were first starting out on this team and were gone four to five days every week, three weeks at a time. This will be just as bad if not worse.
You know, if I were making phat cash then at least that stress would be gone and I could almost justify continuing to do this...but currently, I am not (relatively speaking wihtin the industry and the job description). And so I ahve the added stress and the dogs suffer not having a mom half of every week.
Marly went to the vet to get spayed today. She also got micro-chipped and they clipped her nails while she was still sedated. She now weighs in at 57 pounds at 21 1/2 weeks old - 5 and a half months for you normal people.
Right now she is so sad that she has to stay in her crate and can't chase the kitties or romp with Sadie. I also think she is starting to hurt a little which makes me feel terrible because she can't have any of her pain meds until tomorrow morning.
She did fabulous with the surgery and her dinner and water this evening stayed down which is also good. It was rather funny when I went to pick her up...she was sniffing around at everything and never even noticed me until she was right up to me and sniffed my foot. All of a sudden her tail started to wag wildly and she finally looked up and licked my hand. Silly drugged doggy! The gal who brought her out was going to help me get her into the truck since I didn't think she would be able to jump into the back, but as soon as I opened the door she made the most perfect little leap right into the back and then sat and just looked at us. She also jumped right out when we got home before I could stop her. I think that is all the jumping she'll be doing for the next week or so!
I took a sick day today and slept...forever it seemed like. After taking Marly to the vet at a very early hour, I crawled back into bed and didn't come back out until lunch. Then I ate, watched a movie, and went back to bed until almost 3pm when I had to get myself together to go pick up the puppy. I had forgotten how quiet and restful a house without a puppy can be! However, I am happy she is home safe and sound, but it was much needed sleep. This cold is in my chest now and I can hear myself wheeze when I breathe. I just hope I can kick the worst of it before I have to fly on Monday.
These are not resolutions because I already know that there is no guarantee that any of them will be accomplished to the degree that I would like this year, though I do hold hope for several of them...extenuating circumstances (life) is already destined to get in the way, particularly in the budget department.
HOUSE PROJECTS:
1. Painting - I do hold hope for this one because it is one that has already remained unfinished for most of 2007. Even if it takes me all year, I will complete all my unfinished rooms. Once they are complete, I will then move onto the rooms that have not yet been started.
- guest room (touch up patched areas)
- guest bathroom (touch up patched areas)
- office (paint ceiling, touch-up walls)
- dining room (third coat)
- master bathroom (paint)
- master bedroom - stain dresser (painting is done)
- entryway/hallway (touch-up patched areas)
- living room (paint)
- kitchen (paint)
2. Landscaping - This one I hold less hope for because of #1. The painting and interior takes priority...if I have time here and there I will work on small chunks of the yard. The only 'must do' for this project is to get the maples planted toward the end of Feb to mid-March (depending on weather). The yard and the house needs the shade as soon as possible and even the quick growing maples will take several years to produce enough to make a difference. Also, I am aiming to get a path of sorts cut through the brush down the hill to gain access to the creek that runs down there. If i get really lucky in February and March, I also hope to get the weed insanity under control in the gully along the fenced part of the property line...it will keep my neighbors happy and will make it much easier for me once I do get the time to work on some real landscaping.
- maples (plant)
- path (clear)
- gully (clear, remove builder's errosion fence)
- patio (install minimum of grill area, expand entire patio)
3. Garage - If I can find the necessary help and fundage, I hope to get the garage insulated. Ideally, I would like to get it drywalled too, but that would be a project I would hire out...along with the installation of at least two more sets of electrical outlets.
- insulate (DIY w/ help)
- drywall (have installed)
- electrical outlets (have installed)
PERSONAL PROJECTS:
4. Photography - Neil has agreed to work with me on a 52 week project (instead of a 366 day one). It is much more realistic for my current schedule (and his). I intend to add to this a monthly "Day in Life" (DIL idea stolen from my Vox and Flickr friend, Amanda). I am sure there will be other random batches of photos since I intend to seriously continue working on my photography skills, but I am not scheduling any of them.
5. Cooking - I am going to make a concerted effort to cook at least one real meal a week. No promises that it will always happen, but I enjoy cooking immensely and am hoping that by getting back into it, that it will offer some relief from the stress that is ahead with travel and work.
6. Health/Animals/Sanity - I am going to try to get out with the dogs for a daily walk (each day that I am actually home)...no less than 20 minutes aiming for 45 minutes to an hour. The dogs really need it in addition to our daily play sessions (which are many!) and I need it. I am not making any real weight loss goals, but I am hoping that between the daily walking and cooking for myself more often that it will have some positive effect in that area as well. This, however, is going to be a real challenge in the summer - I have a hard time tolerating the heat and humidity here (as des Sadie...we'll see how Marly does, though she is already showing major signs of being a water dog which will help her immensely), so we'll see how it goes.
I guess that about covers it. Wish me luck...
Well, I can honestly say that was the most anticlimactic new year's eve of any I have ever experienced.
Some years are better than others...2007 was a good year. Nothing very remarkable happened overall...there was a bad bump or two - a good friend passed away. There was a a highlight or two - Marly came into my life as did Mr. M and Bandit. Toward the end of the year I made good friends with my neighbors. Heck, one of them has even become my hairdresser!
2008 is shaping up to be not such a good year. I hope that somewhere along the way it turns out that I am wrong about that. For now, though, work is going to rule my life and not in a good way. Beginning next week, I will be required to travel every week. I will be gone two nights and three days. Almost half my life will be spent on the road - away from my family (both fur and people), my friends, my home. I will be sprucing up my resume and looking for other opportunities, however, there is a bit of a dangling carrot for putting up with the misery of being away - if I can hold out until next fall when the company offers up the certification class again I can become "official" at what I do.
What does that mean, exactly? It means that instead of being something that I was 'on-the-job' trained to do for my specific company and then trying to fluff up those skills to make some sense for another company, I will be fully fully certified which will transfer anywhere. This also means much more in compensation opportunity. I could take the course on my own, but it is several thousand dollars - something I don't have and it would require missing work which would also cost me money. If I complete it through the company then it is on company time and they pay for it.
So, my 2008 resolution is simply this...to try to survive. To survive without loosing myself, or everyone I love.
